Résumé : Should culpability predominate over the ties existing between one individual and his/her parental family, the autonomy process of this individual and the development of his/her own space of intimacy may be impeded. In this paper, Hirsch illustrates the relevance of this statement by examples taken from his experience in institutions and his practice as a family therapist and family therapy supervisor. First, Hirsch outlines the autonomy problems encountered by young adults whose parents where victims of the Shoah. Second, based on a case illustration, he describes the lack of intimacy among couples only separated from their parental families by " porous boundaries ". Finally, referring to a situation examined during a session he supervised, Hirsch highlights the risk for any psychotherapist, faced to a given clinical situation, to be stuck in death-dealing aspects of his/her personal history.