Résumé : Unlike previous studies on mixed-status couples and families, we investigate in this paper the place occupied by the ‘insider’ partner of migrants within a wide variety of family relationships, showing that families provide membership in the nation not only horizontally but also vertically, along generational lines. Drawing on qualitative interviews with migrant women and children in mixed-status families in Italy and France, we argue that citizens can act as some sort of ‘membership intermediaries’ towards migrant spouses and a wider set of kin. First, citizens facilitate non-citizen relatives’ formal incorporation in receiving countries through the provision of more or less privileged forms of legality. And second, citizens provide various resources for migrants’ informal incorporation, including housing ownership, additional income, emotional, and cultural capital. Nonetheless, the ambivalent dependencies these processes trigger can become sources of contention, as conditional formal membership heightens the power imbalances in the households.